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Stuck and Don’t Know Why?

Feeling stuck and don't know whyEver feel an unexpected feeling of resentment? Why does this happen? How can you get rid of the toxic feelings?

This is an activity that brings up the past experiences and you as an adult can address them.

Feeling Stuck and Don’t Know why

Feeling stuck often makes us have no purpose and we may feel depression. I am going to give you a 5-step process for this.

It is all done by firstly keeping an event diary in your daily life. Keep track of the day-to-day events. This will act as a way of making you aware of the triggers that cause you to feel inadequate.

The triggers are the situations that cause you anxiety. They ignite the past failures or traumas. The diary helps your hidden parts of you to become conscious. You see exactly when, how, why, and with whom you react with adversity. This activity is done by keeping a diary of your behaviours.

Diary to Aid Reactions:

This is an example of a diary:

Day / Time Incident/Trigger Beliefs Emotional Feeling Behaviour Consequence
Diary Table

This is an example from a client of mine who filled out the table:

  1. Incident Column: Trigger: arguing with my mother (she often belittles me, calling me fat and saying I’m a disgrace). This argument was about doing the dishes that have been in the sink for two days, and the plates were not mine. My mother called me lazy, selfish, inconsiderate, and said, “I’ll see how you handle yourself when I die.”
  2. Beliefs Column: I have always been a slave. I harm and cause pain to myself because I am bad. I had the urge to punish myself like what my parents have always done to me.
  3. Emotional Feeling: I felt anger and contempt.
  4. Behavior: I got a sharp knife and sliced at my arm until I saw blood. My mother said  I am a problem and need psychiatric help. She told her girlfriend, who later came for afternoon tea. They both believed I was an attention seeker.
  5. Consequence: I feel humiliated each time I see Mum’s friend now. Also, I have cuts on my arm and must hide them from my peers. Mum thinks she is reasonable to treat me with disrespect and her behavior towards me did not change.

This is how the Event Table should look:

Day / Time Incident/Trigger Beliefs Emotional Feeling Behavior Consequence
3/4/2020 3:30 pm Not washing the dishes I am the slave in the house and disrespected Anger and contempt Cutting my arm to feel relief Everyone calling me names, feeling like an idiot

This is for you to fill out:

Day / Time Incident/Trigger Beliefs Emotional Feeling Behavior Consequence

Then when you spot the habit in the diary you can trace them back to your timeline or childhood and see why you feel like that today. Then as the adult version of you it is easy to heal the present reactions because you can find your limiting beliefs and change your reaction and become more fulfilled.

We have the ability to change our belief of an event. We don’t have to go on behaving the same way we did as a child. Even in the face of injustice, we don’t have to hold onto the pain and act out accordingly. We can change our belief about the event and find a different way of dealing with the situation. We are not victims but are conquerers of our destiny. Choose to be your truest destined self! You might like these videos too

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